Disney Channel. We’ve all watched at least one show, know at least one character, have some type of interaction with it. For me, this is a place I’ve felt heard. It might sound dumb to be writing about Disney, but few know the sentiments I have toward it. Growing up, I was a child who was sheltered. “Don’t go outside, it’s too dangerous”, my mother always said. Looking back, I now understand why I was locked up in the house. Drugs were flowing in and out the neighborhood. Murders took place a few streets down. Girls that are around thirteen years old getting pregnant. Watching things like “Hannah Montana” and “The Proud Family” allowed me to escape the harsh realities I faced throughout my upbringing.
I grew up in Palm Beach County in a city called Lake Worth. My first real encounter when any kind of violence was when I was about 8 years old. My aunt would babysit my siblings and I because my parents would always be working. It is here where I could finally play outside. A seemingly small feat, but it made a world of a difference. There was one rule that we must obey, or we would face dire consequences: come inside before the streetlights come on. Most of us have heard this phrase in movies, shows, etc., but once the sun sets, the gangs come out. The southside of downtown Lake Worth is where the violence was concentrated. Everyone in Palm Beach County feared the phrase “Top 6”. Unfortunately, most people knew someone involved with this group. This notorious gang terrorized streets, vandalized homes and businesses, robbed people and in the process some people may lose their lives. This is the harsh reality I had to face. My cousins got caught up with the fast life that was presented to them. They wanted money, and they wanted it now. The drug deals, the robberies, the list goes on and on. The height of their entanglement with Top 6 is when my cousin got shot in a deal gone wrong. One of the people closest to him, turned on him when he least expected. By the grace of God, he pulled through. I became so immune to the gunshots that after a while, they begin to sound like fireworks. To mask the sound, I would submerge myself into “The Cheetah Girls”. Envisioning myself as one of the girls in animal print gave me a sense of a sweet haven for a short period of time.
Since I am the oldest of three, I have a protective nature when it comes to my brother and sister. For as long as I can remember, I have had a dysfunctional family. Countless nights I have woken up to screaming from my parents. Accusations of cheating was always somehow in the midst. In the next room over, we would be bunched up in a corner crying unsure of what the future held. What started off so quietly, escalated to a screaming match. “Why is she buying you gifts?”; “Why does it matter if it’s a male or female getting me a gift?”; “I don’t like that your coworker is getting you gifts”; “Why don’t you trust me?”. This back and forth would go on for hours upon hours with no end in sight. My dad got so frustrated that he threw both cellphones against the wall to “solve” the problem. He then scurried off into the night because he was not in the mood to argue anymore. Although my heart felt as if it was shattered into a million pieces, I had a bigger role to play. Looking down at my brother and sister, I saw uncertainty in their eyes. Would daddy come back? Is this really it? The idea of becoming a broken family in a long-broken home started to sink in. Thank God that High School Musical was on. We began to get lost in the dialogue and the songs when my father came back.
Every episode of every show (not anymore because current Disney Channel is terrible) conveyed a different emotion, a different message. Although it is technically geared towards younger audiences, we all yearn for that feeling of enchantment and wonder. Maybe not to that much of an extreme, but we all are searching for an escape from our crazy lives. Disney Channel is mine. Whether it’s finding out a neighbor got murder, my cousins getting arrested and being put in prison, or the fear that my family is going to fall apart at any second, I have a place where I feel heard.
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